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April 02, 2009

Too Busy to Talk to God? Let a Computer Do It for You!

This is too much.  Just absolutely too much.


I forget whether I was meandering around Foxnews.com or the Drudge Report, but whichever it was, my Outrage-o-Meter went off the charts when I was led to a story about a website that sells prayers for those whose busy lifestyles preclude them from saying the simplest little prayers to our Creator.

It's called Information Age Prayer, and it introduces its service in this way: "Information Age Prayer is a subscription service utilizing a computer with text-to-speech capability to incant your prayers each day. It gives you the satisfaction of knowing that your prayers will always be said even if you wake up late, or forget."

How to describe my reaction?  Hmm...flabbergasted?  Outraged? Incredulous?  Livid?  (I'll avoid certain other words due to my Christian faith).  Needless to say, this is the most jaw-dropping fiasco I've encountered in some time.

There are just so many things to say about this total sham.  For one, expecting God to listen to computers that pray is beyond ludicrous.  Computers have no eternal soul.  They have no capacity whatever to relate to God.  When they reproduce words using voice simulation technology, it's just that...word reproduction.  There's no spiritual content or value to it whatever.

Another consideration: anyone that is too busy, sleep deprived or forgetful to pray has a really poor set of priorities.  Each person finds time to do what he or she finds to be really important.  If you're too busy or forgetful to pray, then your relationship with God has very little importance to you.  You'll find your true god is wherever you spend the most time, energy, resources and attention.  If other matters in your life keep you from even speaking to the God of the Bible, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, then don't bother with spending money to have a computer reproduce prayers to Him.  You don't know Him at all, and I guarantee you the computer will earn you NO FAVOR with Him.

Why won't it earn you favor?  Because God is NOT moved by mere words spoken in prayer, as if they were some sort of magical incantation.  The one, and ONLY, thing He cares about is whether you and He have a genuine, Father/child relationship.  And that's really the crux of why this Information Age Prayer is just...stupid!!

Think of it this way.  Pretty soon my folks will be moving out of a rented home and into a new parsonage that their church built for them.  When they vacate the rental, my family and I will be moving into that house because it's bigger, nicer and has more storage.  In the next several weeks there will be boxes to pack, nooks and crannies to clean, and furniture to move, for both households.  My Dad will need help moving things, and I'll need help in turn.  Now, what will be my motivation to help my Dad?  Well, perhaps I'll be convinced to help him if he comes up to me and says, "My son, who art on the other side of town, strong be thine arm!  Thy pickup come, thy muscles lift my couch, and yea, mine armoire...." (And so on).  Or will such putrid, flowery words be the means by which I'll motivate Dad to help me?  Of course not!!  I'm going to bust my back for my Dad because he's my Dad.  And he'll wear himself out for me because I'm his son.  It would be insulting for either of us to think that it is the WORDS we use that make us willing to help each other.  We do it because he's my Dad, and I'm his son.  We love each other.  End of story!

It seems so completely BASIC when we talk about human relationships--family.  How is it that somehow we get stuck on stupid when it comes to our relationship to God?  He does not care a FIG about fancy words, about prayer-incantations.  They don't merit us one iota of favor, forgiveness or provision from God.  You can say the most eloquent prayer in the world, and if you don't know God as your Heavenly Father it will gain you precisely nothing.  He doesn't want RELIGION, or RITUAL, from me, you or anybody.  He cares only about whether or not you're in the Family.  Is He your Father?  Are you His child?  Do you love Him--really love Him?  If so, you won't have to worry about putting the right words together.  Just ask Him for what you need, and He'll be there.  You won't need a computer chanting tinny, robot-prayers for you.

Are you in the Family of God?  You don't get there by fancy words, or Boy Scout good deeds, or any religious ritual.  You become His child by the finished sacrifice of Jesus Christ on the Cross--His blood shed to wash your sins away and to raise you up from spiritual death to eternal life.  Trust in Jesus.  Make God your Father and your Lord.  Don't pay money for a stupid computer to pray for you.  Accept what Jesus has already paid for you to become a true child of God.


March 30, 2009

Consider Those Poor Chocolate Bunnies at Easter Time!

Haha!  I can't stand it!  Look at this!

Mybutthurts_fullpic_1

March 29, 2009

Music + Technology = Fun

I am a big music lover.  I am also rather enamored with computers and technology.  In my surfing about on YouTube, I discovered a lady who employs both at the same time.  Imogen Heap is her name, and in this YouTube clip she builds a song right before your eyes (or ears), using looping technology to layer her voice many times over.  Fascinating demonstration of what computers, and a healthy amount of musical talent, can do!  [Disclaimer: I'm not terribly familiar with this artists' work, so I'm not endorsing it as a whole.  This one piece, however, is very interesting.]



Family-Friendly Movies Make Far More Money -- Yet Hollywood Continues to Produce Celluloid Sewage

I just came across a good article from Breitbart.com, in which the author gives hard numbers on box office returns from various sorts of movies.  To view that article, click right here.  As you'll see from the numbers, movies with family-friendly content make far and away more money than those with bad language, sexual immorality, violence and drug abuse.

Hollywood is big business, right?  All about the bottom line?  If so, one would assume that they would make exclusively the sort of movies that make the most profit.  And yet, they insist upon foisting moral depravity upon the moviegoing public, fully aware that it's not making them as much money.  I think it is clear that Hollywood must be about something other than just sound business principles; it must be engaged in social engineering.  After all, to deliberately present messages that they know lose profit...the only explanation for that can be an agenda.

August 17, 2008

Silver-Haired Escape Artist

Today (Sunday), it was my turn to bring a mini-worship service to our local nursing home.  It's always an...interesting...experience.  Today it must have been 'Drive-the-Pastor-Batty Day," judging by the interruptions that came from the front door alarm every two minutes (and I am not exaggerating).  There's a code pad you have to key just right to get the door to open and shut quietly; if you make the slightest error you get treated to a sonic lobotomy.  The place we do services is right by that door, and I can tell you that there were MANY in and out that door today who either 1) Did not understand how to properly operate the keypad, or 2) Have a serious sadistic streak when it comes to ministers trying to speak.  Obviously, the alarm is there to prevent escapes by those residents who need constant watching.  It was certainly nerve-racking, though, and made for interesting new Bible readings.  "For God so BEEP BEEP BEEP orld that BEEP BEEPis Only BeBEEP BEEP BEEPon, that whoBEEP BEEPer beleBEEP BEEP BEEP Him wilBEEP BEEP BEEPish but haBEEP BEEPver lastBEEP BEEPife."

I'd have a serious problem knowing what that said, if I didn't already have that passage down cold.  Now imagine 15 or so seniors who can barely hear.

One of the main beepers came in the form of a very clever old gal who very obviously is in the throes of some sort of dementia or Alzheimers.  Regardless of her confusion, she was totally committed to the goal of getting out of that door.  Every time someone would come in or out, she'd lunge for it.  I learned she has a habit of asking people to punch in the code for her (so no one would catch her, of course; she's no dullard, this scamp).  And a couple times this afternoon she decided to throw caution to the four winds and just exit on her own.  She made it completely outside once, and the nurses were really nice about it.  They followed her out, sat on a bench with her for awhile, and then brought her back in.  Perhaps they thought she had worked it out of her system.

WRONG.  As soon as this dear old gal got back in she started right back in stalking the front door.  It was really funny; she'd get closer and closer, reaching her hand out in anticipation, and then she'd jerk it back angrily and mumble very unpleasant things under her breath.  She knew very well that the alarm would go off again, with all the melodic grace of the Apocalypse, and there she'd be with everyone's attention on her, humiliated.  She really started to hate that alarm!  She'd shake her fist at it and declare "I wish I had a hatchet to chop that thing off with!"  So funny, in a way...but of course I also felt sad for her because she was confused and feeble...and she no longer felt in control of her life.  She was under the supervision of others, and that loss of autonomy isn't something we should take lightly until we've experienced it ourselves.

Watching this dear old gal's efforts to transcend the limits placed on her, and raging against them, set me thinking.  In our sinfulness we're all a lot like that old gal.  God has prescribed the proper limits within which you and I are supposed to live.  It's a good life He's made for us.  If we simply walk in His ways, He can bless us, provide for us, and show us His power and love in ways beyond our imagining.  The limits God has for us aren't restrictive or harsh; there's an abundance of provision set aside for us there.  All we have to do is stay within His will for us.  What happens, however?  We become obsessed with nothing else than the limits.  There's so little that God would have us stay away from, and yet we pick nits, split hairs, and ignore God's blessings in order to focus on nothing but the limits.  We test those limits.  We edge closer and closer.  We seek the opening to rush past the boundaries for what we think are the greener pastures beyond them.  How wicked we are, that knowing the boundaries God places on us, we think of NOTHING ELSE than breaching them!

What happens, though, when we rush past the limits and break out into the open?  We tell ourselves there is freedom there, but there we find only confusion, chaos, fear, and heartbreak.  That sweet old gal was obsessed with getting out of the door of that nursing home.  Once she broke out, however, she found it wasn't what it was cracked up to be.  I'm not sure what she was expecting to find, but she only ended up pacing back and forth in the parking lot, looking scared and lost.  She was too far gone in her dementia to get off the property and go to a place of her choosing.  All she could do was to spin her wheels.  Whenever we break out of our God-ordained boundaries, we experience just the same thing.  We tell ourselves, the world tells us, and Satan tells us that once we break the barrier, we'll find freedom.  We'll find pleasure and joy!  And yet when we carry out our escape we discover only...lostness.  We find pain instead of pleasure.  We find heartbreak and tragedy instead of joy.  Finally, in our hurt we cry out, "God!  I'm out here alone and lost!  I'm so hurt and scared!  Take me back home again!"  God in His grace does just that.  He forgives. He restores.  He lovingly escorts us back to the safe pastures of His will, once again asking only that we stay within the bounds where He can bless and protect us.  We feel so relieved!

And yet, like the dear lady at the nursing home, it isn't long before our spiritual dementia kicks in.  By and by, we are once again pacing back and forth, grumbling at the bounds and looking for an opportunity to escape.

Praise the Lord that we have a long-suffering God.  He's so patient with His wandering sheep.  We should remember, however, that sometimes a loving shepherd must take extreme steps to keep particularly wander-prone sheep from straying again.  Sometimes, out of best interest for the sheep, he must break the sheep's leg.  Having wounded the sheep, he then hoists the sheep up on his shoulders and carries it everywhere until that leg finally heals.  Then, when the sheep is ready to walk again, the idea is that it has become to attached to the shepherd that it won't wander away again.

I doubt that the old lady at the nursing home will have her leg broken to keep her from wandering off (the law would tend to frown on such a thing).  Yet, let's be clear: God loves us so much that if He needs to, He WILL break us in order to keep us from wandering away again into hurt and ruin.  Far better that we just stay within the bounds, don't you think?  Trust the Lord.  Trust your Good Shepherd.  Stay within His bounds, and you'll find all the provision, protection, blessing and rest that you'll ever need.

Harvest Moons Are Awesome

It's nights like this that make me wish I had one of those huge tele-photo lenses.  It's an absolutely beautiful evening out there, with one of the biggest, most colorful harvest moons I've seen in a long time.  Here it is with my puny little digital camera... God certainly knows what He's doing :)

Dsc00747

August 13, 2008

8 iPhone Owners Have "Stars upon Thars", Buy Hyper-Snobby Screen Saver Before Apple Removes It

Sneetches How many of you remember this dandy little story by Dr. Suess, The Sneetches?  In the story, Dr. Suess rightly holds snobbery-based-upon-appearance to grand ridicule.  These bipedal, duck-like critters start sorting themselves into classes based upon which of them have stars on their bellies.  Those that do have them dub themselves "the best kind of Sneetch on the beaches."  Well, the non-star-bellied Sneetches feel envious and slighted.  More than anything they wish to have "stars upon thars," thereby placing themselves among the Rich and Famous.  Enter an enterprising little...thing...named Sylvester McMonkey McBean.  He unveils a machine which will place stars upon the bellies of the plain-bellied Sneetches, for the low, low price of 3 bucks each.  Every one of them pay the money and get their stars, resulting in all Sneetches having "stars upon thars."

The ORIGINAL star-bellied Sneetches are mightily put out.  They wish to maintain their illusion of superiority, but now that every Sneetch has a star, how to make the distinction?  Sylvester McMonkey McBean sidles up once more, having made a few adjustments to his machine.  Now, for the price of TEN dollars the original star-bellies can have their stars removed.  Then they can declare that the best sort of Sneetch has no star; their elite status is saved!  Every one of them enthusiastically plunks down his sawbuck, and the plain-bellies proclaim their favored status once again!

Here's where everything runs amuck.  Eager to keep their new-found status, the originally plain-bellied Sneetches who paid to have stars upon thars pay 10 bucks to have their stars removed once again.  The original star-bellied Sneetches who paid to have their stars removed pay 10 bucks to have their stars put back on! Before long there's such chaos and disorder that the line at the machine gets totally mixed up.  Those getting stars and those removing stars are in a huge jumble, paying again and again, getting stars and removing them.  The denouement: they all run out of money, nobody can tell who's who anymore, and Sylvester McMonkey McBean rides off, laughing all the way to the bank.  How stupid those Sneetches were!  How foolish!  How shallow!  Certainly that sort of thing would never happen in real life!

I can hear poor Dr. Suess rolling over in his grave.

0_25_i_am_rich_display Apple's iPhone is quite the little status symbol in its own right.  Originally sold at the absolutely stupid price of $600, it was a way for human Sneetches to declare their techological coolness and superiority.  The iPhone's second incarnation is supposedly better and faster, with a price tag of only $200.  That's quite a bit more like it (though I've heard that by the time most folks get done getting the new iPhone equipped with the things they think they need, they'll shell out an awful lot more than $200).  This put the iPhone within reach of a lot more people; predictably, sales have been explosive.

Now that the great, unwashed masses have access to iPhone coolness, perhaps the original human Sneetches feel their exclusivity in jeopardy.  That's what a man by the name of Armin Heinrich must have been betting on, because he developed a very unimpressive screensaver by the pretentious name of "I Am Rich."  This story on foxnews.com relates how the screensaver works.  It displays a glowing red jewel on the screen, such as you see in this second picture.  That's all it does.  How much would you pay for such a screensaver?

How about $1000?

Yep.  $999, to be precise, but that's the price Heinrich put on his screensaver when he offered it through iTunes.  Now I ask you: what would possibly move someone to pay such a price for something so worthless? According to Heinrich, the whole purpose is this: whenever you see that glowing red jewel on your screen, it "always reminds you (and others when you show it to them) that you were able to afford this. It's a work of art with no hidden function at all." That's just insulting.  (If anyone reading this finds Heinrich's rationale attractive, it's doubtful that you and I will ever be friends)

When I first started reading the story, I thought it was a joke.  Then I thought to myself, "no one will ever dignify that jerk by sending him a cent."  I was wrong.  As it turns out, 8 people purchased that stupid thing.  U-N-B-E-L-I-E-V-A-B-L-E.  It seems the Sneetches are alive and well, with a much larger fund of money than brains.  Apple, at least, had the decency to pull the travesty from iTunes...but not before 8 people had the opportunity to display themselves as self-centered, shallow fools. The buyers included one person from France, one from Germany, and....

SIX from the United States.

May God have mercy upon our country.

August 11, 2008

Magog Emerging?

I have been very interested/sobered to watch the unfolding conflict between the Russian Federation and the democratic nation of Georgia over the past few days.  What began as a bid for Georgia to re-take its breakaway province of South Ossetia has escalated to a seeming full-on invasion by Russia.  Russia initially sent tanks, soldiers and other materiel to protect its ethnic cousins/cheerleaders in South Ossetia.  They insisted they were there for "peacekeeping" purposes only (yeah right), and that they would "punish" the aggression by Georgia.  Lo and Behold!--however--the Russian forces have now begun bombing targets in Georgia proper, have taken a city well within the Georgian borders, and seem to be setting the stage for a possible takeover of the Georgian capital of Tbilisi.  They swear up and down that they won't--but you can judge for yourself whether their assurances are trustworthy. (Me personally: um, no)

On the one hand, I'm really trying to get my mind wrapped around Georgia's decision-making process as they ventured to re-take South Ossetia.  First, South Ossetia is peopled with those who are ethnically-connected to Russia.  Second, they have made it clear that they wish to become part of Russia.  With those two considerations, did Georgia really think Russia would allow this attempt at re-consolidation to pass?  It is interesting that their move was timed in sync with the beginning of the Olympic games in Beijing.  Perhaps they thought they could get by with it unchallenged, with Russia's and the rest of the world's attention focused there.  If that was their rationale, clearly it was ill-considered.  As much as their move makes me scratch my head, I've also read that the USA and other NATO countries have long been concerned with the unpredictable, "loose cannon" traits shown by the Georgian president Saakashvili.  It seems they're having trouble figuring out this situation themselves.  I wouldn't be surprised to learn that behind closed doors, President Bush and Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice were pacing the floor, repeatedly exclaiming, "what were they thinking?!"

The situation is far more complicated than a bonehead play by Georgian leaders, however.  The USA will not be able to afford to say to Saakashvili, "Sorry buddy--this was a stupid move on your part, and you'll have to bear the fallout.  You're on your own."  Factor one: Georgia has been a committed partcipant in the "War on Terror" and the 3rd-largest contributor to the US-lead coalition in Iraq (right behind the UK).  Factor two: Georgia is the most dependably democratic and pro-West country in the area.  They've been petitioning to join NATO, even--a move viciously opposed by Russia, who has saber-rattled and threatened a LOT concerning the subject.  Notwithstanding, Georgia has a lot of strategic value to the USA, particularly given this energy crisis in which we find ourselves.  If Russia continues to push, I do not know how the USA will be able to remain passive.

What's Russia's game here?  They say they're only there for peacekeeping purposes--for righting the wrongs supposedly foisted by the Georgian military upon South Ossetians.  They claim Georgia is attempting ethnic cleansing--while Georgia makes the precise same claim of Russia.  Who has the moral high-ground is difficult to pinpoint.  As Russia claims noble motives, however, their response to Georgia's action has clearly been disproportionate and swift.  The coordination of their operations seems to indicate that this operation has been planned in advance.  It could be that the Saakashvili regime's move against South Ossetia has provided just the pretext that Russia has been seeking for some time.  Another factor which may embolden Russia to take things further: the United States and its allies are wearying of war in the Middle East.  Between the twin fronts of Afghanistan and Iraq, we've been at it years now, at staggering cost.  The bloom went off the rose of this war quite awhile ago.  America's coalition is slowly dismantling, her allies quickly losing their resolve.  The economic woes of America are well-known, between the crippling price of oil and the credit/mortgage/banking crisis.  America is raw and tender at the moment, and it could be that Russia believes there's no time like the present to begin re-consolidating its old empire.  Certainly this is the boldest military move it has taken against a sovereign state since its disastrous invasion of Afghanistan.  Of course there's Chechnya, but that was an internal matter.  This is a direct move against another country.  The stakes have clearly risen markedly.

You know, when I was younger I used to watch potentially-prophetic developments with an almost giddy excitement. I'd think, "oooh!  I bet things like this might lead to the End Times someday!"  It was a sort of hobby/fantasy for a high school-age Christian kid--it was fun and exciting to daydream about these things, but I don't think I took any of it that seriously.  These days, it seems that every significant political/strategic/military development in Eastern Europe, the Middle East, and Asia brings me up short.  An eerie quiet hits me, almost like my heart stops for a beat or two.  What would I liken it to?  It feels like another shoe dropping, another tumbler falling into place within a safe which, once opened, will change the world forever.  It's no longer fun speculation...it's starting to get...."weird."

In Ezekiel 38 and 39, God gives the prophet End-Times intelligence concerning a nation called "Gog" which is far to the north of Israel.  Eschatologists have long correlated the geographic cues in the Ezekiel passage and elsewhere to equate "Gog" with Russia.  It seems probable that Russia will play a leading role in a future coalition to attack and destroy the nation of Israel.  Russia's partners in the venture appear to be Persia (Iran) and other Islamic states in the region.  Russia's current-day, close ties with Iran can be no coincidence.  It further seems to me that if a democratic Georgian government were taken out of Russia's way, it will have accomplished a very significant step south, toward Israel.  There it would once again control a significant piece of Black Sea coastline, and the oil pipeline that starts at Baku, Azerbaijan, proceeds west and south through Georgia, and down to Turkey.  From there, they would only have to treat with Turkey and Syria (and possibly Jordan) to be in Israel's back yard.  If the situation in Iraq destabilizes after the coalition pullout, it might be very easy to sway as well.

With all this going on, I can't help but wonder.  Could we be seeing some opening moves that will lead to Russia becoming the "Gog" of prophecy?  Could it be that strategic alliances are even now being struck, and that Russia is moving to control strategic parcels of land in preparation of a bid to invade Israel and control the Middle East?  I'm not arrogant enough to claim that I know, nor do I have this youthful glee about the whole thing.  I just feel this weird sensation in the air.  A feeling in my gut.  I can't escape the feeling that things are going to get a lot more serious.  Rather soon.  I'm not making any definite claims.  We'll just have to see.

In closing, here's a little word of caution to Russia, who will of course not heed a word of Biblical prophecy.  Nonetheless, God's spelled out the outcome of Russia's future attack against Israel, rather clearly...

“Son of man, prophesy against Gog. Give him this message from the Sovereign Lord: I am your enemy, O Gog, ruler of the nations of Meshech and Tubal. 2 I will turn you around and drive you toward the mountains of Israel, bringing you from the distant north. 3 I will knock the bow from your left hand and the arrows from your right hand, and I will leave you helpless. 4 You and your army and your allies will all die on the mountains. I will feed you to the vultures and wild animals. 5 You will fall in the open fields, for I have spoken, says the Sovereign Lord. 6 And I will rain down fire on Magog and on all your allies who live safely on the coasts. Then they will know that I am the Lord. 7In this way, I will make known my holy name among my people of Israel. I will not let anyone bring shame on it. And the nations, too, will know that I am the Lord, the Holy One of Israel. 8 That day of judgment will come, says the Sovereign Lord. Everything will happen just as I have declared it. 9Then the people in the towns of Israel will go out and pick up your small and large shields, bows and arrows, javelins and spears, and they will use them for fuel. There will be enough to last them seven years! 10 They won’t need to cut wood from the fields or forests, for these weapons will give them all the fuel they need. They will plunder those who planned to plunder them, and they will rob those who planned to rob them, says the Sovereign Lord. 11 “And I will make a vast graveyard for Gog and his hordes in the Valley of the Travelers, east of the Dead Sea.[a] It will block the way of those who travel there, and they will change the name of the place to the Valley of Gog’s Hordes. 12 It will take seven months for the people of Israel to bury the bodies and cleanse the land. 13 Everyone in Israel will help, for it will be a glorious victory for Israel when I demonstrate my glory on that day, says the Sovereign Lord. 14 “After seven months, teams of men will be appointed to search the land for skeletons to bury, so the land will be made clean again. 15 Whenever bones are found, a marker will be set up so the burial crews will take them to be buried in the Valley of Gog’s Hordes. 16 (There will be a town there named Hamonah, which means ‘horde.’) And so the land will finally be cleansed. 17And now, son of man, this is what the Sovereign Lord says: Call all the birds and wild animals. Say to them: Gather together for my great sacrificial feast. Come from far and near to the mountains of Israel, and there eat flesh and drink blood! 18 Eat the flesh of mighty men and drink the blood of princes as though they were rams, lambs, goats, and bulls—all fattened animals from Bashan! 19 Gorge yourselves with flesh until you are glutted; drink blood until you are drunk. This is the sacrificial feast I have prepared for you. 20 Feast at my banquet table—feast on horses and charioteers, on mighty men and all kinds of valiant warriors, says the Sovereign Lord. 21In this way, I will demonstrate my glory to the nations. Everyone will see the punishment I have inflicted on them and the power of my fist when I strike. 22 And from that time on the people of Israel will know that I am the Lord their God." (Ezekiel 39:1-22, New Living Translation)